Twins // Side by Side

When we first found out we were having twins one of the most common things people commented on was that they would always have a best friend to go through life with. And it is lovely to watch them playing together now that they are nearing 3... not so lovely to watch all the squabbles though!

But one of the things my naive-self didn't think about was quite how different they could be, and quite how differently they could develop.

I've had to stop myself posting about Tilly and Jasper too much this last year for fear of everything being Tilly did this, Tilly said that, Tilly drew this, Tilly sang that, or look at Tilly... she's nearly potty-trained! It left me feeling awkward and guilty for not having so much to say about Jasper.

Looking at them side by side - which you can't fail to do with twins, and comparing what they could (or couldn't) do, often concerned me because of some of the vast differences. Was it something I was doing wrong? Was there a reason for these differences?

Emma wrote recently about her little boy needing speech therapy, and it made me realise I'm not alone in this worry. Since we received our letter from the health visitor to book an appointment for their 3 year development check, some 5+ months ago (they don't turn 3 until the end of this month!), I've been ignoring it in the hope that Jasper might catch up a bit. I'm not sure why - perhaps embarrassment, perhaps fear of what they'd say - who knows.

I know all children develop at different rates... and obviously there's the boy/girl difference too... but it just seemed so huge. Until recently I would have said Tilly was almost a year ahead of Jasper's talking and vocabulary. She loves to draw and has written her name... she loves to sing nursery rhymes and can recite many word perfectly (and reasonably tunefully too!), and she's pretty much got the hang of potty training.

Jasper, however, is a completely different kettle of fish. He's a quiet, thoughtful child. The understanding is there... he will chime in with answers whenever I'm asking questions, but we would be lucky to get more than 3 words at a time... and then they would be very garbled and extremely difficult to understand.

It's been a frustrating year. Where Tilly could easily and happily tell us what she wants/needs, it's taken a while for me to get used to his garbled language... with pretty much everyone else failing to understand a word.

And then last week I finally plucked up the courage to make the HV appointment... miraculously, in the last 7 days, he has become a lot more fluent and understandable... and using whole sentences... even several at a time! It's still a little garbled, but being able to hear the words in the context of a sentence is making it so much easier for him to be understood.

It's a bit like when you threaten cats with the vets... all ailments suddenly disappear. Perhaps I should have made the appointment 5 months ago!

I know I've got to accept that it is nothing to do with me, and totally out of my control... as my lovely sister-in-law pointed out - you've just got to look at them both to see 2 happy, healthy children.

I'm now looking forward to next week's appointment with a few less worries... let's not talk about Jasper and potty training though... it's just not happening at the moment... and I'm happy with that :)

I just need to keep reminding myself...

I have 2 beautiful, and equally perfect, individuals.


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